What I Never Told You
by Raven Sage
Summary: Something from Kathryn's past comes back to haunt her mentally and physically and the only way to save herself is by talking to Chakotay.
1. Sickbay

What I Never Told You.  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. We are their slaves. Bow down to the mighty corporation. I shall forever watch your TV channels your TV shows I watch your movies I visit your amusement parks. I am forever your slave. Everything I write of is yours all mighty one except for the story. I bow for I need not money o' Mighty one for doing what I love even if it sucks. I bow on last time hoping to leave you in peace. AMEN.  
  
The screaming only lasted a few seconds but it scared the hell out of him nonetheless. He had jumped out of his bed and ran to his closet to get his robe. He then dashed out of his quarters hoping that Kathryn was okay, the screams sounded like genuine horror, something was seriously wrong and it was up to him to find out. He ran to her door and entered the emergency access code. The doors quickly opened and let him through. He rushed into her quarters. They were dark as the time implied and the living room was empty. Chakotay let himself into her bedroom. He frantically looked around. There he saw Kathryn's bed. It looked slept in but there was no one occupying it. He ran to the bathroom door and banged on it but there was no answer. Again he checked the room but he saw no one. He was about to call out a ship wide intruder alert when he heard stifled crying. Chakotay let his ears do the locating and he soon ended up in the far corner of Kathryn's bedroom. After awhile his eyes adjusted to the lighting of the room and he saw the small shadowed image of her frame. Chakotay let out a deep sigh of relief. "Kathryn?" His eyes closed tightly and he focused on slowing his breathing. "I.I'm sorry did I wake you." He wanted to say 'no I was just on a stroll and I happened to hear you scream' he didn't want her to feel bad about it. He hesitated but decided to answer her truthfully. "Yes." He said quietly. "I'm so sorry, please excuse my actions." Her words were shaky. Chakotay watched in silence as her tears threatened to infringe on her calm and perfect world. But if only Chakotay knew that it wasn't perfect, that it was greatly disturbed and was far from perfect. Just like clock work the shutters started again, they got more in more violent until she had finally burst into tears. By that point Chakotay had become greatly overwhelmed with concern. He quickly took a seat by her side. He then grasped her hand. Her hand was outrageously heated, as a natural reflex he took the back of his hand to her forehead. "My god Kathryn, you're burning up." His words brought the tears back in their entirety. Chakotay pulled Kathryn into his lap. "Tell me what's wrong!" he demanded his answer. She sniffed trying to stop the crying long enough to speak but she couldn't. Chakotay lifted her from his lap and pulled her up to his face. "Tell me!" Half of her wanted to tell him but the other half was holding her back. His eyes almost flashed red with anger. "Tell me now or I'll get the doctor." "NO." she blurted out through her violent tears. 'Chakotay what are you doing' he thought. He was scaring her and he knew it, she needed to be helped not badgered. Chakotay put her back in his lap and cradled her. Second by second he could feel her getting hotter. He had to take her to sickbay despite her reluctance. "Come on Kathryn we're going to sickbay." She shook her head aggressively. She stopped crying briefly and gulped. "No we're not." Her voice came out too ruff for his tastes and that only happened when something was wrong. "We're going." "NO" she screamed. "I SAID WE'RE GOING" Chakotay stood and lifted her. Kathryn violently thrashed at his face. From the length of her nails and the stinging on his face he guessed that by the time he got to sickbay the doctor would have two patients to deal with. He had made it half way out of the bedroom when Kathryn bit him. Chakotay drooped her and to shake the pain out of his hand "Bitch" He cursed loudly, he knew he shouldn't have but it was an impulse. He searched the room and noticed Kathryn crawling into the bathroom. He ran over and pulled her away from the door. Her screams sent chills up his spine. He dragged her out of the bedroom and to the doors out of her quarters. As he dragged her out she grabbed the doorframe. Chakotay tugged at her legs. But she wouldn't budge. After a few times he severed her grip on the door. But the recoil of the action sent him flying into the bulkhead behind them. He hit his head hard and took a few seconds to recover. He slowly stood and went back over to Kathryn lifting her again. He carried her down the hallway screeching and kicking like a two year old. Freeing one hand Chakotay hit the button calling for the turbo lift. When the turbo-lift finally arrived Chakotay attempted to board it. This time he wasn't stopped by Kathryn, but by Tom. Tom stood there with a confused look upon his face. "Com.mander?" Chakotay blushed. It was probably better to leave this incident unexplained at the moment. "Lieutenant you can either get off the turbo lift or you can help me." Tom stood there in awe for a few seconds. Tom shrugged. "It's just that it's not everyday that you." Chakotay glared at him. "TOM!" "Uh. I'll grab her legs?" Tom went for Janeway's legs. Chakotay should have warned him but decided not to for his own selfish entertainment. Chakotay counted, one, two, three, four blows to his chin before Tom finally managed to grab hold of her ankles. "Sickbay" The turbo-lift bleeped letting him know that it had identified his request and was obeying it. Tom freed one hand and rubbed his chin. "Commander if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just ask for a transport?" "It wasn't an emergency." Tom looked down at Janeway's struggling body. "I don't know Commander, but this looks like an emergency to me." Before Chakotay could shoot back a comment the turbo lift halted at their destination. The two men carried the fighting body to sickbay. Sickbay was dark and empty. The men took her to the nearest bio-bed and easily lifted her on to it. "Computer, activate EMH." The computer responded and did what he asked. With in seconds the doctor was in front of them and the lights came on. "Lieutenant Paris? Commander Chakotay? Captain Janeway?" His eyes widened as the rank of the crewmember increased. Chakotay walked over to Janeway's left side and restrained her left arm. "Commander what happened?" Chakotay shook his head. "No time to explain, Paris take the other arm." The doctor sprinted for his office and disappeared behind the glass for a few moments until he immerged with a tri-corder in his hand. Before the doctor could reach them The Captain started shaking violently. Not in an attempt to escape from her current position but involuntarily. "DOCTOR" he called out. "Doctor there's something wrong." Chakotay studied her face. He watched her eyes roll back into her head. All he could see was the white of her eyes it scared the hell out of him; he had never seen that happen before this had been a first. And from the look on Tom's face it was probably a first for him to. "Kathryn." Chakotay yelled. "Kathryn." He cried out. She was unresponsive. Chakotay looked at the doctor who was currently scanning her. He was just about to ask him how bad off she was but his thoughts were interrupted by a continuous unending beep coming from the doctors tri-corder. The Doctor's eyes quickly fixated on Tom. "Mr. Paris..." Tom was already making his way over to the station a few feet away from the bed. Tom looked up from his station prompting the doctor. "Start her off at 100." Tom nodded and entered the information into the consol. Chakotay watched in horror as Kathryn's body jumped a bit. Still the beep was there. "The body is unresponsive to the shock." The doctor's brow furrowed. "I know that Mr. Paris." The doctor answered angrily. "Move it up to 200" Again Kathryn's body twitched. After the second shock the beep changed and was a slow beep.beep.beep. "Heart is stable, shaking had ended." The doctor looked up at Tom and shook his head, he then looked at Chakotay. "Commander I'm afraid that you're going to have to leave." Chakotay shook his head. "Not until I know what's going on." The Doctor sighed. "Take a look at the Captain's eyes." Chakotay took at the whites of her eyes. He shivered. "I see them." He said with an uneasy feeling in this stomach. The doctor used his free hand to wave in her direction. "And I'm sure that you have witnessed her convulsive shaking." Chakotay nodded. "Using these visible signs and the information from my tri-corder I have come to the conclusion that she's had a seizer." The color drained from Chakotay's face. The Doctor turned to Tom. "Mr. Paris replicate two hypo sprays under sigma kappa alpha." Tom went over to the replicator and returned with the doctor's requested medicine. The Doctor gripped it tightly and injected it into the Captain's neck. Chakotay stared at the other hypo spray in the doctor's hand for a few seconds. He gulped. "What's that one for?" The doctor smiled "Ah Commander, I was wondering when you'd ask. This is for you. Go back to deck three back into your quarters and into your bedroom, your then going to inject your self with this AND GO TO SLEEP." Chakotay gripped the hypo spray took one last look at Kathryn and walked out the door. After walking around the ship for an hour or so, Chakotay ended up at Kathryn's door. He entered her quarters and was suddenly over taken by her smell. He followed the scent into her bedroom. He laid down in the foreign room and allowed himself to be intoxicated by the smell. After lying there for a few minutes Chakotay brought the hypo spray up to his neck and lost himself in its familiar hiss. 


	2. Remember

Her eyes fluttered open. 'God where am I?' she thought. She tried getting a grip on her surrounds. When that didn't work she tried lifting her head but the dizziness and the pain had caused her to resume her previous position. She laid there for a few minutes listening for familiar sounds. But there weren't any to be heard. After awhile the confusion and fog cleared allowing her to sit up. When she tried to sit up her muscles ached, her whole body ached. She groaned as she pulled her self into a sitting possetion. Chakotay who was sitting with his back towards her turned to face her. "Good morning sunshine." He smiled as he on sipped his tea. Kathryn reached up and rubbed her head. "What happened, where am I?" Chakotay smiled. "The long version or the short one?" Kathryn blinked hard. "I'll opt for the short one." Chakotay took a deep breath. "You had a close encounter with death last night. Oh, and you're in sickbay." She closed her eyes 'Like that answers all my questions'. ".What time is it." "0600 hours." She rubbed her eyes. "Shouldn't you be on the bridge for alpha shift?" He shrugged. "I took leave." Her eyes widened. "You what?" She rolled her eyes. Chakotay jumped from his chair and checked her pulse. "Chakotay what are you doing." She laughed but his eyes scorned her. "Have you ever seen someone have a seizure?" She shook her head. "No, but what does this have to do with anything?" "I saw someone have one a week ago. Its not pleasant, especially when their eyes roll back into their head." She shuttered. "A week? Was it really that bad?" "." he didn't answer, how could he tell her that he had to watch her go into a cardiac arrest wondering if she could be brought out of it. "You haven't missed much, nothings changed since your last shift." She sighed, he was obviously avoiding the subject. "I'm surprised." A voice from Chakotay's comm. badge interrupted her. "Tuvok to Commander Chakotay, you have been late for your shift the fourth time this week." Kathryn glared at him. "You took leave eh?" "I was suppose to leave after I finished my tea.. But you woke up." She was touched by the idea that he was probably spending all his free time here. "Well then Captain I'll be on my way, you know I have your ship to command." "I wouldn't want to make Tuvok ang." She closed her eyes, the pain was unbearable. "Kathryn?" "I'm okay Chakotay just a headache nothing a hypo spray won't cure. Go on now, you don't want to be any later then you already are. " She forced a smile reassuring him that she would be alright. Yet he still looked at her hesitantly. "Really I'll be okay." He smiled "Just as long as you're here when I get back." She smiled weakly. "I don't think the doctor's letting me go anywhere just yet. I don't think I'm even going to ask." Chakotay chuckled. "Your probably right." He sighed. "I'll see you after my shift is over." He bent over and kissed her forehead. She watched him walkout of the room. Was there something she missed? But what ever it was she enjoyed it. The warmth of the kiss made her comfortable, all to comfortable so she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Grostosk, she can't help us she's useless." The Cardassian Doctor looked up. "Hoklen, she'll be useful trust me. Regardless of her rank, Ensigns can be quite useful, they know their way around their ships pretty well. Besides they're also easier to break." Holken nodded. "When does the procedure begin?" The Doctor smiled. "Anytime you want it to General, the chip is already implanted so when ever you find it appropriate." General Grostosk took a long look at the ensign. "Wake her." The doctor reached for a hypo spray and stuck it into her neck. The young ensign stirred. "Sit up." The voice Commanded. The young junior officer quickly positioned her self upright. "Stand up." The ensign complied and stood there at the position of attention. The Cardassian General smiled at the biddable Ensign. He chuckled. "Please stand at ease." He said softly. Slowly he circled her trying to size her up. "I thought you'd might like to get to know me a bit before we begin." She snorted. "I already know who you are." "I don't know who you are, please enlighten me Ensign." "Ensign Janeway." The General smiled. "You wouldn't happen to know an Admiral Edward Janeway would you?" "He's my father." The General nodded. "That would explain your manner." "Enough about me General, I would like to know why I am here?" The General raised his eyebrows. "It seems that you have inherited his intelligence, too bad wisdom comes with age." The General shrugged. "So you want to know why you're here. You have been deemed as Cardassian property do to your trespassing." Ensign Janeway stood there quietly listening to the General. "Don't act so surprised, you knew what this mission would entail." The Ensign took a deep breath. "I'm not surprised General." He nodded. He stopped circling her and inched in closer to her face. "You may be asking yourself 'What does my government do with Cardassian property?' If you have forgotten I can refresh your memory." "No need to." She murmured. There was a scream from the other room. The young Ensign quickly turned facing the direction from which the sound came. "What was that?" she asked coldly. "You haven't forgotten your dear Admiral already, have you?" Ensign Janeway's voice cracked. "Admiral Paris" It was more of a statement then it was a question. "The one and only." Again screams came from the room but they wouldn't stop, they kept coming. Every scream caused her to flinch, the pain must have been unbearable. "Would you like him to stop?" She didn't want to admit it, but she would do anything to stop his pain, almost anything. "Yes." She answered quietly "You have two choices to pick from. One is tell us everything you know or two we can kill him now if you'd like, but someone would be needed to take his place." She knew what he was implying, she had two choices and both were far from what she needed, from what they needed, either way her and the admiral were screwed. Maybe she could compromise there had to be an easier way out of there. "I can't tell you anything." "And why would that be Ms. Janeway?" "It's against Starfleet orders." "Starfleet this Prime Directive that, your father is the same way. But tell me when it comes to your life and another's does Starfleet really matter?" "Yes, I swore to uphold Starfleet's principles and if I have to die doing so then so be it." "Ah, but does Admiral Paris feel the same way." "Yes." The General shook his head. "But he has a family to support, where would they be with out him. "He swore to." the General interrupted. "So young and naïve, you don't understand the concept of having a family. Maybe if you're a good girl you will, someday." "It depends on your definition of 'Good girl' sir." "Tell us why your ship was spotted here at this same location six months ago?" "I don't know." It seemed like the appropriate answer for the question since she was telling the truth. The General banged his fists on the table. "Don't lie to me." "I don't know." She repeated softer. "Maybe I can use an old earth saying to make it more understandable. Speak now or forever hold your peace." She didn't make a sound, she could tell the man nothing and even if she did she didn't have much to offer but a piece or two, all she knew is that herself and the admiral were on a mission to upload some data on to the shuttles computer from an information buoy they had released in that area six months ago. The Admiral had told her no more than that and she didn't ask to know more than she needed to. "Last chance Ensign!" she didn't answer. The General gave her a disapproving stare and snapped his fingers. Immediately guards appeared from the room that the Admiral was being held in. They approached her and forcefully took her away. She didn't bother wasting her energy struggling with the guards, she had a feeling that she would need all the energy she had. They pushed her onto a table with restraints hanging on the sides. Taking the straps in their hands, they buckled her in. She looked around the room to find The Admiral. All she found was a broken spirit who stared at her with concern. "No don't do this to her, she's fresh out of the academy, she still has her whole life ahead of her. Please, I'll tell you anything, please just let the girl go." The man's desperation was painful. "I'm sorry Admiral we gave her the choice but she refused." Paris looked up. "Grostosk." He snarled. "In the flesh." The General knelt down and looked Paris in the eye. "It seems Owen that you aren't as happy to see me as I am you." "Let her go!" The admiral yelled. The General sighed. "I already gave her the choice of an exchange but she declined, further Owen we need the experimentation more then we need the information. Its not everyday you get such a prime candidate." Kathryn felt her blood run cold. 'Experimentation?' she thought. "Let her go." He pleaded in vain. "Guards, please escort Mr. Paris out of the room." The guards escorted Admiral Paris out of the room. The General turned to the doctor. "I'm sorry that I have to leave on such short notice but I do believe that you'll take good care of your patient, you always do." "Of course sir." The doctor responded as the General walked out of the room and locked the door behind him. Ensign Janeway looked around the room, all around her she saw knifes of all sizes, needles, and other things that looked incredibly sharp. She had a feeling that at least a few of them would come in contact with her skin. The doctor followed her stare and saw that it landed on the torture objects. "You'll be the first to test our newest prototype." She winced. She dared not ask what it was, even more what it does. "It's very simple, see all I had to do was implant the chip into your brain while you were unconscious and the best part is now all I have to do is press a button." The doctor walked over to a consol behind him and tapped on it. It only took a few seconds for her to begin to feel the pain. Soon she lost all control of her body. Her screams were involuntary she had to; there was no stopping it. The last thing the young Ensign remembered was hearing a sentence repeated over and over again by the Admiral before she passed out. "Please, please she's just a child, she's just a child." 


	3. Ensign Janeway

Chakotay sat in sickbay with dark circles under his eyes. Kathryn had, had a relapse of what ever had been wrong with her and ever since the doctor had finished stabilizing her, he was right there by her side. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours. And the whole time he sat there holding her hand. "COMMANDER!" It was the doctor. "Not again." Chakotay mumbled under his breath. The EMH looked like he was going to explode. 'If only holograms could'. He thought. "COMMANDER!" the voice repeated itself. Chakotay forced a wan smile. "Yes Doctor?" The Doctor shook his head and waved his finger. "Don't smile at me Commander! You're not fooling anyone." The Doctor sighed and lowered his voice and softened his tone. "Commander, I." The doctor stopped, he wasn't that good at easing the kind of pain that you couldn't fix with a tricorder but the Commander needed it. "Commander, everyone has been hit hard by what has happened to the Captain. Not only are you her first officer but her friend." The doctor wrung his hands and searched for the words to say. "And I know that it pains you to see her this way. But rest assured that I am trying my best to find out what's wrong." In a bold attempt the Doctor walked over to Chakotay and placed his hand on his shoulder. "All though it may seem that your proper place is here right now, its not. Your proper place is in your quarters getting some rest so that when its time for your shift you'll be able to try your best to fill her shoes. It's probably impossible but out of all the people on this crew I think you've come closest. That's exactly why you're her first officer, because she trusts you to do all you can for your crew, her crew." The doctor held out his hand in a truce almost more than helping Chakotay but a strong act of kindness. Chakotay took his hand and eventually came to his feet. "Thank you Doctor." The Doctor smiled. "Anytime Commander, anytime." Chakotay walked out of sickbay after looking back a few times. He yawned and decided that maybe he needed the rest.  
  
(=/\=)  
  
Chakotay sat on the bridge a thousand light years away. But truthfully it was the sullen look on his face that gave him away. Most of the officers on the bridge felt the same way although they tried to hide it. Tom who had been feeling horrible too allowed the behavior to continue but after a while but he couldn't handle it, especially from the Commander who had looked the saddest of them all. Tom knew he wasn't suppose to, but he left his post to talk to the Commander. Tom approached him and knelt down. Tuvok shot Tom a few threatening looks but decided that maybe it was in the Commander's best interests. "Commander, I couldn't help but see you sitting over here looking so. lonely." Tom tried again. "Commander, I'd like to think of you as my friend and I hope you feel the same way. But when friends have problems they . talk to another friend about it." The Commander stared at Tom long and hard before he got up and beckoned him into to Kathryn's ready room. Chakotay took a seat at one side of the desk and motioned for Tom to sit on the opposite side. Chakotay looked out the port window for a while, while he searched for his voice, after realizing what he was doing; sitting in her chair looking out her window he found it. "You know, last night when the doctor kicked me out of sickbay he gave me more of a goodbye speech on The Captain's behalf then a reassurance that she'd be okay in the morning when I returned." Tom winced, was it really that bad? "And to be honest Tom, it scares me. It scares the hell out of me." Tom finally felt in total all that the crew had been feeling this morning, the feeling of emptiness that nothing could fill. Tom tried to speak. "I.I." Chakotay smiled. "Feel the same way but you can't explain it?" Tom nodded. "She'll make it through, she always does. She's a fighter Chakotay, you picked a fighter." Chakotay had caught the last part of the sentence but decided that maybe he was right. "Tom I would like to." "The Doctor to Chakotay." Chakotay's heart fell "I would like you to come down to sickbay its concerning the Captain." "On my way." Chakotay looked at Tom. "What if." Tom shook his head. "You gotta have faith." Chakotay and Tom exchanged smiles. Tom rested his feet on the desk and sat with his hands behind his head. Tom spoke again.  
  
"Oh and commander, you're welcome." Chakotay waved it off and stepped on to the bridge. "Tuvok you have the bridge, if anyone needs to reach me I'll be in sickbay." "Aye sir." "Lieutenant Paris, please return to your post." The Vulcan stood to take his seat in the Commander's chair "Tuvok do I have to?" "Lieutenant!" "Coming, coming." Chakotay chuckled softly as he headed for sickbay.  
  
(=/\=)  
  
As soon as he got off the turbo lift he started running down the hall. He didn't know what he was running into but he knew he had to get there. He barged into the room. What he saw was frightening. The Kathryn that he had left the night before the one that he though would never wake up was wide-awake and very alert. She was huddled in a corner mumbling to herself. He felt like crying, he knew something was wrong and he couldn't even beginning to think about what might happen if she was. Chakotay approached the Doctor. He cleared his throat yet his voice still cracked. "What's wrong with her Doctor." The doctor sighed deeply. "I have some good news and some bad. I've found out what's wrong with her and I know how to cure it but." "Go on." "I'm not exactly sure on how to cure her." "Doctor I'm confused? You just said you've found a cure but then again you don't have it?" The doctor took a deep breath. "I've found what had been ailing her. I found this sort of microchip in her brain. It has a Cardassian insignia on it. it's Cardassian technology." Chakotay punched the wall in anger. "Cardassians, always the source of my problems." The doctor sympathized with the former Maquis Captain "The chip seems to be an early prototype of the PC, Pain Chip if you will. It's implanted into the cerebral cortex and simulates pain. Removing the chip would be easy, but I'm afraid that it might damage her mentally. If my calculations are correct, the jolts of pain are programmed to occur at night. And after awhile she seemed to have it under control. But this has been happening for years. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when it really started to get serious." "How long would years be?" Chakotay really didn't want to hear the answer but he had to know how much she had suffered. "Twenty give or take some years." Chakotay didn't know what to say. "What can we do." The doctor gestured towards his office. Chakotay nodded silently and followed the doctor behind the glass "Well I called you down here for a purpose, the reason I can't remove the chip is because it has damaged her memories of that time. I was wondering if you could help her in two ways. Maybe if we can get those memories to surface we can conquer that part of the problem." the Doctor paused but Chakotay urged him on. "Go on." "I need you to relive those memories with her. Not like a mind meld but something more along the lines of listening to a storyteller." Chakotay nodded. "Don't agree to it just yet Commander, I haven't finished. The only time this window would be open is at night, which I'm guessing is appropriate knowing the Cardassians. You would lose a lot of sleep. And you would have to be with her at all times during the night. I asked you here because you're the captains friend and your also a spiritual healer. Although I'm programmed not to believe in such things I feel that she needs it. Somewhere in there she's bent. But you are also the commander of this ship." "I don't care." "There's more, I can not treat her for this. It would all be mental and I can't fix those kinds of problems. Believe me the pain would be real, but it wouldn't be physical and I'm not sure if you can deal with that." Chakotay shook his head in frustration "Doctor I don't understand, wouldn't her body be relieved to end the torment." The doctor furrowed his brow. "She's an addict. Pain is her drug and she's addicted to it. Having it just snatched away is hard. You may not understand now but if you are willing to do this you'll understand later." Chakotay nodded. "I'll do it." The Doctor nodded back in understanding. The doctor sighed. "You both are free to go." Chakotay walked over to Kathryn and offered his hand. "Come on Captain, it looks like we'll be spending the night in my quarters." Kathryn laughed. "I wish I was a captain, me handle a whole ship. I'm just out of academy. I knew Admiral Paris liked me a lot but it would take me more than two years to become a Captain." Chakotay turned to face the doctor the doctor closed his eyes and nodded seeing how torn up Chakotay was he intervened. "Ensign Janeway, although you will be spending the days with me you're going to have to spend your nights with this man." She smiled and sized him up not that she wouldn't mind. He did seem old for her age but he was still cute. "Excuse me doctor but I seem to be hearing you wrong." Chakotay sighed, same old Kathryn. "No Ensign, as wrong as it may sound you've heard right." "Why would I . not to be rude. but why would I stay in his quarters? He's not female obviously so it wouldn't make sense for me to. share quarters with him." Chakotay couldn't help but laugh, she sounded like a young teenager. "And we're obviously not involved, I mean not to complement you too much but I would remember someone like you." Chakotay blushed, as gratifying as the compliment were, they still stung. "Well Ensign he'll assist in the healing of your illness, your problem with the Cardassians." Kathryn shuttered. "If I ever met one I would remember." The doctor shook his head, he had forgotten. "Come on Kathryn I think its time for you to turn in." She looked perplexed. "How do you know my first name?" 'Think Chakotay think.' "Well. I . uh I. Knew you father." The doctor glared at him, not knew, know! "Uh I mean I've met your father on occasion and he talks of you often, especially Admiral Paris he's very proud to be called your mentor." 'There you go.' The doctor smiled. "Well Ensign I wish you a pleasant night." Chakotay frowned; it was going to be everything but that. "Ensign, would you mind waiting outside as me and the doctor discuss something in private?" "No not at all." She waited for him to finish her sentence. "Commander." Kathryn blushed; she had been talking to a Commander LIKE THAT? She quickly exited the foreign sickbay and waited like she was told.  
  
(=/\=)  
  
"Doctor you seemed to have left that out." "It's not that bad commander." "Not that bad?!?!" "It only happens during the day I'm guessing it's a way of bring back the memories." "She doesn't remember anything about me she doesn't remember that she." "Ha, not like she ever admitted it to you because we all know you're too scared, so she doesn't remember but it's not like you're missing anything. Besides I told you it would hurt." The Doctor's words stung they seemed to be talking about one subject yet a totally different one at the same time. Chakotay stood there watching him. "Commander if you have nothing to say to me then I suggest that you don't keep Ensign Janeway waiting any longer." Chakotay stormed out of sickbay cursing under his breath. "Is there something wrong Commander?" Those words hurt too, they sounded like they came from his Kathryn but they didn't roll off of her tongue as easily. "No, it's nothing. Lets just go to bed." Kathryn snorted behind him. "ENSIGN" He roared, he wasn't in the mood for it, so this is how frustrating it was for her. He was beginning to hate himself. "Sorry sir." "I'm sorry I lost my temper, lets just go." He started down the corridor and she followed him step for step like any good Ensign would do, and it was that, that annoyed him.  
  
  
  
A/N: I don't know if my chapter made any sense but I had to get the explanation thingy off my back so I could do some more interesting stuff so if you had doubt in this chapter your not alone but I promise the next on will be good. Though I do like the ensign Janeway twist, its kind of like what they say about kids. We're there to torment our parents like they have years before. I CAN'T SPELL so don't hate me. 


End file.
